Divorced, remarried, I have one boy from the first marriage and two boys from the second one. After my first son was born, I managed to gradually work myself into one of these two horrible choices: catastrophic marriage or catastrophic divorce. I chose the second one out of selfishness and fear that I would replicate my parent's marriage. I denied my older son the joy of seeing his parents in love and I will forever be sorry for that.

When I had my second boy with my current wife, she became very cold and distant to the one from the first marriage, which I suppose is quite normal when having to take care of a baby.

But after all this time she still seems reluctant to fully accept my firstborn into our family when he's with us. I know that philosophy is about prevention, not cure, and I'm sure that my kids will never end up where I am right now, but any tips on how to help my family be happier would be greatly appreciated.

Oh Stefan! I would love a show on how to throw an amazing dinner party! Sounds like you're a pro at it!

Hey Stef, we have antibiotics, internet, relative peace and freedom and I most probably will not die as a drafted soldier, but I am still unable to feel gratitude and make myself happier just because my ancestors lived in incomparably worse conditions. Even if I am the 2nd wealthiest generation in the World history I tend to perceive myself as a tax slave in a luxury barn. Would you have any tips on how to practice gratitude and how to teach gratitude to my children?

How to wish well rationally?

In your presentation "Vampire Love Kills!" you describe that stating "you're lucky" means admitting helplessness to achieve goals like having a six pack through hard work at the gym. Is "Freedomain dot com slash donate" the new well wishing phrase? You keep referring to the shortness of your remaining days which is depressing.

PART 1

Thank you for answering my previous question regarding the rationality of child abuse. I’d like to continue that discussion if possible by raising a few points. First I’d like to clarify why this matters to me personally because without the context, I think we might misunderstand our intentions.

My brother recently became a parent. I tried to advocate for peaceful parenting (this was before you finished the book), and he said he trusted more in how he was raised, with corporal punishment. The typical points of “I turned out fine”, etc were raised by him. It was a lost cause, and by the end of it, he felt as though his honour was challenged by me calling it cowardly. He wanted to spar with me in a ring for 5 rounds as a way for me to prove my point (he’s older than me by 4 years and also more muscular). The only other way he’d accept my proof would be through raising my own children peacefully and seeing what kind of adults they would be. At that point course, the damage to his own children would already be done.

Long story short this was the end of our relationship. I have grieved, and I’m still in the process of accepting things, but a part of that process for me is steel manning his position. Maybe in seeing it completely destroyed I’ll have more peace of mind. As such in Part 2, I shall continue to play devils advocate. There might appear to be some level of disassociation in part 2 since there is clearly an emotional undercurrent to this discussion. A call-in might be good, but for this I prefer the slower process of contemplating and responding through argumentation. The emotions are still being processed and this sore emotional underbelly might also be why I haven’t yet read peaceful parenting.

First I think you made a few fantastic points which are worth repeating and rephrasing just to make sure I understand you.

1. “If you can’t hit any characteristic of a child, how can you hit a child?” I.e. if there is no justification for violence against someone with a single characteristic of a child, how can violence be justified when you have those characteristics in aggregate...?

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